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| (File photo courtesy of the Orange County Sheriff's Department) |
The inconsistencies in his story are unmistakable, and at times, laughable.
So when it has been confirmed that he has lied countless times, why are we now taking him at his word when he said he intended to rob me? ... ...
It was not my imagination, or an exaggeration, that caused me to fear rape. It was living through the nightmare of having a monster wait for me, chase me, tackle me from behind, grope me, hold a gun to my head, and try to cover my mouth while on top of me. Assault is not an accident. -- Setting him free before he steps foot in a prison misses the mark on justice substantially. Releasing someone like him with a slap on the wrist falsely communicates that he is the victor. Men like him are never the victors.
In fact, neither perpetrators nor victims have victory when the justice system fails to react justly. - But guess what? He underestimated me. He saw a lean 5’7 woman and he saw someone he could dominate. Think again. I outwitted him at his own game. I felt his gun pressed against my head, and without a weapon, I fearlessly fought back anyway. I out-screamed him when he tried to cover my mouth. I drew the attention of the witnesses by refusing to believe that this was my fate. And better yet, I refused to buy into the idea that he wins today or ever. He chose the wrong girl.
Not only did he choose a fighter, he chose an advocate.
I never knew how strong I was until strong was the only choice I had. Seven months to the day after my back surgery, I completed my first marathon. Less than a year after he assaulted me during my
jog, I chose to make running my victory, outlet, and testimony. I’ve taken away his power and now it’s in my hands, and my feet. I will continue to use my strength to fight against evil like him. And I will use my strength to empower other victims, prevent future attacks, and ensure that sociopaths like him serve the time they have earned while wearing the lifetime “Sex Offender” badge they deserve. I am asking you today to ensure that he wears that badge.
He is a coward. You are strong. Be proud that you stood up to him!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry this happened to you. I would like to make a comment but without being there, it impossible for me to do. I do wish you the best Maria and keep fighting for what you believe in!
ReplyDeleteI applaud you lady, the (in)justice system has sent a message "rape has no consequences to the rapist"...as a son, brother, nephew, uncle etc, it's a punishable act, if the process we're all subject to fails to work...do we as individuals rise up and mete justice as we see fit?
ReplyDeleteAs a fellow survivor I say Bravo! Your strength of character and mind has robbed this monster of taking your life in a figurative sense. He is scum,a coward, a sociopath and a pig narcissist. Run free, my friend, and know that you didn't take his crap without a fight.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for what happened to you, but find it unbelievable how brave you have been. I only hope that if I ever face adversity like that, that I am able to be that strong. You are an inspiration to all women!!!!! Praying we can get rid of all of the judges that treat sexual offenders like they are the victims!!!!
ReplyDeleteI applaud you sister!! May this message circulate the world informing men everywhere, women are no longer objects for them to buy or sell or assault. This is a call for women to find their voices and speak the truth. It will empower us all!! Much love!
ReplyDeleteFirst let me state unequivocally; there is NEVER an excuse for one person laying hands on another. I truly believe that the majority of us feel this way; in matters of this nature the judiciary is always behind the changes in culture. With that said YOU did your absolute best, did not deserve any of this, and you rose ABOVE your challenge. Take strength in the love and support of all of us! As well, take solace in the fact that, while physically assaulting you, he never took away your strength, your sense of self, nor your voice. May God bless you and please know that your suffering has reached so many people and it does have a cultural affect; hopefully very soon we willl never see an injustice such as this again. Be well! And keep running!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry this happened to you. Our system that allows individuals like him to go without just punishment is broken. Thank you pressing charges - many women don't do this - and for now bringing this injustice to light. Thank you too for being strong and for being an advocate. Witho more people speaking out we will turn the system around, and also by bringing these attacks to light, we will start to heal this rape culture and the reasons it is present in men. Bless you, sister!
ReplyDeleteThis man deserves to reap what he has sown; to be treated as he has treated others. He at least deserves to be required to register as a sexual offender and have his picture distributed widely so others will beware of him, and alert to him. Because he got away with it this time he will strike again.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry this happened to you. It is ridiculous how flawed our justice system is when they worry about "ruining" the rapists' lives!! You are so brave and so strong and I admire your courage to take back the power. You have clearly won in every way and this loser has lost. We all stand behind you and will continue to work against every person who sexually assaults another person. The Justice system may not hold them accountable, but WE will.
ReplyDeleteLauren, you sound like you are well on your way to following in Mia Angelo's footsteps. “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” She was raped when she was only 8 years old. It takes a long, long time to move past the horror and violation of being sexual assaulted, but I assure you success is the best revenge. Rapists are such inveterate losers.
ReplyDeletePlease continue your fight for all us women in the world. You are brave and he is a coward. He will do this again to some ones mother sister aunt or grandmother. Its so sad that we have to go through something like this in our families just because they don't want to ruin his life. WHAT!!! How crazy is our justice system!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is Bullshit. All we can offer her are words of encouragement? We should be able to congratulate her on her victory in court. Something's wrong with this judicial system. What if it was one of the Judge's daughters? I will continue to support the fight for Justice, and for strong, brave, fearless women like Lauren, but when we these sex offenders be punished? When will their lives be permanently scarred by their actions?
ReplyDeleteWe men are subjected to sexual imagery, and encouragement to act on it, every day by the media around us. Only after that are we told that such behaviour is criminal - which we all KNEW before this stuff was thrown at us all the time in the mainstream media, and thus given respectability. It is not merely sex offenders who should pay for their actions, as they should, but the creators of this culture - those who dehumanise women to sell things, and make that the norm and expectation. You won't get rid of rape culture, as I will do all I can to help you do, unless you address the willful poisoning of people for corporate profit. I'm not anti-business, I'm pro-human. Thank you for your time.
ReplyDeleteAny man who " feels" he is a "victim"of a culture that presents women who " turn him on" therefore he shouldn't be in control of himself is no better than cultures who have their women covered from head to toe, face included,for fear of theirselves being the victim of a wanton womens wiles.Its NOT the woman's fault you cannot control your own sick actions for who is to judge what constitutes sexual presentation?' Be a man and put you big boy jock on.
DeleteHe was judged by a jury of 12 peers? How on earth did they locate 12 individuals/peers/jurors to find him innocent? What? Did Sean Salaber "tackle and grope her" on accident? We live in a sad time when "peers" find the criminal acts of Sean Salaber's acceptable.
ReplyDeleteWould they care about "ruining" Sean Salaber's life if they were the attacked person or if it was a relative, friend, neighbor, co-worker, or acquaintance? How did they reason the fact that although he physically committed the crime it still equates to innocence? Again I ask, how on earth did they put together a jury of 12 ignorant, vile peers? Ignorant because they found him innocent and vile because they found such actions acceptable!
It only takes 1 juror/bad apple to demean the whole process. I'm thinking that it's too bad her attorney didn't ask for a Trial by Judge to rule instead of a jury. Judges have to be getting tired of seeing criminals go free, and their hands being tied. Maybe she could take him back now for attempted robbery(since he can't be tried again for the rape), and not have a jury. He deserves some kind of punishment!
DeleteYour courage is inspiring and makes me feel hopeful that the so-called justice system really can change. Thank you for sharing your story.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand how the jury can empathize with a rapist. Do they think tackling a woman from behind with a gun is an unavoidable accident?
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ReplyDeleteYou are a strong woman and an inspiration to many. I'm so sorry this happened and know this piece of filth will forever be looking over his shoulder. I'm also a rape survivor who refused to be a victim. The system is corrupt for allowing this criminal or any other the freedom to live in our society. Every week I read more of these stories with the same outcome and it's truly scary. We will keep fighting for changes to be made in our judicial system and our voices will be heard. You keep your head held high Lauren. We've all seen his face and he's now a target who will face punishment, one way or the other. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteYou are a strong woman and an inspiration to many. I'm so sorry this happened and know this piece of filth will forever be looking over his shoulder. I'm also a rape survivor who refused to be a victim. The system is corrupt for allowing this criminal or any other the freedom to live in our society. Every week I read more of these stories with the same outcome and it's truly scary. We will keep fighting for changes to be made in our judicial system and our voices will be heard. You keep your head held high Lauren. We've all seen his face and he's now a target who will face punishment, one way or the other. God bless you.
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DeleteI'm as pissed that this sociopath got away with committing a criminal act against you as I am about the armed cowardly, criminal that abducted and assaulted me in 1982. Again the judicial system felt he should be left to rape again because his m.o. was too good for me to convince a jury that I was raped and had not just as his great m.o. claimed " been..on a date with him and had changed my mind.." He was no date, he had stalked me on my campus where he worked and he mistook me for another student he was stalking and thought I was lying about that I was always mistaken for the other student. So he found out I was looking to buy a car and offered to show me one he had for sell.I didn't feel I had to fear ANY UNIVERSITY EMPLOYEE who regularly had access to our WOMEN'S DORMS DOING REPAIRS !The DC Police wouldn't even let me show them where he threw away the razor that he'd threatened to " ..just cut me once.." with. I am encouraged by the fight I see in you young lady because I fought and lost then I tried to recover and 35 years later unfortunately I have been victimized 3 additional times and i get more incredulous looks from medical professionals I sought out to help me recover than the stupid police ! These people obviously take the culture od=f RAPE in these United States has fiction. Well, it is very much on pae=r with the rest of the world where women are abused and have no rights or recourse. And, strong women like yourself are the only calvary coming to our defense. We have to fight back and keep fighting to take our lives back...until I die I have no choice but to fight or I couldn't stand to face each day God sends. Much
ReplyDeleteRESPECT YOUNG WOMAN !
I do know how you feel! I was raped my first year at college in 1973. I was so naive and didn't understand how this could happen to me. I didn't realize it was my responsibility to report him and go to the hospital. We just weren't educated about what to do if it happens. I showered, packed up my stuff,left school and didn't go back. I never told ANYONE, which I now regret, and am in therapy at 62. It's so important to report this crime, and the strength it would take to do it would be the first step in heeling. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... as long as you get help & support, you can't do it alone, as I can attest to.
DeleteVery good for you fighting for your freedom like that. You are an inspiration to all of us, women, that don't have to settle but fight with all of our strength. You won this fight reacting to him saying, no way, I am strong and I can fight you. Shame on this judge. I feel very sorry for being him and commit an unjustice like that. I really don't know witch one is worse, the judge or the atacker. I have a message for the judge. You are a very luck person because you maybe never have something like that happen to one of your loved ones. You made the wrong decision. You don't let go a monster like that. You need to send a message punishing the perpetrator telling him that rape is unacceptable. It's a crime of the most horrible action. Having judges like you is a very unfortunate. I would be concerned with the type of karma that you are bringing to your self or loved ones. Nothing that you do in this lifetime is without consequences. I don't wish that for you or your family but you really are bringing upon yourself. We have to watch what we do in this world. Let's hope that you be able of somehow fix this action that add so much more pain on this lady that went through enouph. Lests hope so. God bless you giving all the compensation about this unfortunate action from this excuse for a man. All the angels will have their wings open upn you, so you have the strength to cope with it the best way you can possibly can. Xontinue to be the fighter that you are, not settling for anything, but fighting for a better world today and every day of your life. Take care!
ReplyDeleteI was drugged, gang raped, sodomized, given a concussion, 10 years ago, and suffer PTSD and anxiety and Dissociate Disorder. Sympathy is not what you want to hear... oh I am so sorry. Are you though? I am just happy to be standing right now. Honestly, people have no idea what we go through. I didn't let it control me either, however, my brain is changing and I never thought it would be this way. You feel like a fighter then bam your a speck of dust. I can't hold down a job now... no idea why all of the sudden... but oh well. Life must go on.
ReplyDeleteI hope you are now getting help even tho it happened so long ago. It's like a cancer eating you up slowly, and you can't heel it without help. In MT we have an initiative coming up on the ballot that gives victims of assault rights. It seems so stupid that we have to make laws giving survivors of violence some rights, you'd think it would be so obvious, but at least it's a start. Stay strong! We are a growing Sisterhood, and we have a voice. You're not alone, unfortunately.
DeleteWe are with you in your fight . God Bless you .Just say the word if you need me .Anthony Ang
ReplyDeleteIt is good to hear from a man. They need to talk more with other men about this crime, so it gets out there how wrong and disgusting it is to force yourself on a woman, second only to child & elder abuse.
DeleteI am inclined to believe that judges who only "slap the wrist" of rapists are either bought off by the highest bidder or they themselves believe rape is a man's right. Let's face it, ladies, there are millions of men who resent the fact that our bodies are not available to them upon demand. We many be weaker but we are smarter - unfortunately, many of us are prepared to give up the great equalizer. A firearm can change the mind of the most enthusiastic rapist and if all women armed themselves, rape would be non-existent. It's time to free yourselves from the liberal programming for forced socialist change and think about saving yourself from the humiliation and violence of sexual assault. It's time for women to run this world; men had the chance for hundreds of years and look what a mess they've made of it.
ReplyDeleteHaving a gun is one thing, but using it is another. If you only wing the attacker, he'll come back and sue you saying he wasn't attacking you. I'm thinking Bear Spray!
DeleteYou are very brave. I can only walk with you in spirit because we are propably far apart. I was rape once. Date of a friend knew I was drunk. Told her to stay in car while he helped me into my home. Brought me into my room and proceeded to stick his thing in me. I guess I should have called the police. But, it hasn't been until just recently when hearing the stories coming out that I finally realized it was rape. Another part of my story is when I said to ex husband who hadn't touched me in years suddenly wanted to have sex with the same night I told him about what happened. I pushed him away. He at least didn't try to force himself on me.
ReplyDeleteIt is so sick that rape turns some guys on. My ex told me that his fantasy was to rape me, and he knew I'd been raped at college! Should've divorced him right then, would've saved me a lot of increasing abuse and sadness.
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DeleteBless you, Maria. You are very brave to not back down. I pray that our culture of rape and death will be healed. Sweeping it under the carpet never healed anything. Again, bless you.
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